The Extravagant Hobo

The tale of the Mormon Kimono

We like to lounge around in luscious hostess gowns as much as the next person but a good kimono or robe will set you back a few pesos. 

We happened upon this little number a few weeks ago:

BEFORE

at Knimble consignment on fourth street in San Rafael (www.knimble.com). We excitedly took it to the fitting room for a test drive only to find a very stiff, thick, cotton material sewed in to the lining. It completely ruined the flow of the silky good time the gauzy first layer offered. The material so thoroughly thwarted one’s silhouette that I was moved to say it reminded me of that fabled (?) underwear Mormons are forced to wear. 

The pattern was too money to resist so we plunked down the 12 bucks and brought it home. Its been sitting in the closet waiting for us to be moved by the DIY spirit.

Here’s what we did to naughty up our Mormon kimono:

We played with de-threading but found that this white card-boardy feeling material was resistant and sewn in twice. The scissors were a last ditch effort that worked well. Sometimes its the easiest way that’s the right way….

AFTER:

Non-Model Modeling finishing product:

FRONT:

BACK:

What would Don Draper do: WWDDD?

Tomorrow is Monday and we’re being dragged there kicking and screaming. Alas, there’s no hiding from the week ahead so when the inevitable pickles of the week arise, we suggest whispering WWDDD to yourself before settling in to a drink and a boozy two hour lunch. 

If mid day drinking isn’t your bag then we suggest another motivational image to be hung at eye level in your corner cubicle. 

Happy Monday.

Baring it all without losing the shirt off your back…

Getting naked in front of complete strangers with out the help of a drink or a pole can be incredibly scary, maybe a little silly and can definitely feel absurd. That’s why we thought we’d shed our inhibitions and clothes for February. 

What better place to dawn your birthday suit then a spa? Unfortunately the only “spa” in our budget looks like this one:

So we went on the search for a low rent version of this:

And found a beautiful little oasis in the heart of SF called Imperial Spa. Don’t be fooled by it’s proximity to Taco Bell, this place is high class and very affordable. 20 bucks will buy you an all day pass to an array of amenities including  saunas, baths, hot tubs and affordable treatments. This is the perfect place to come before a date given the free razors, tooth brushes and full length mirrors under forgiving lighting. We had a moment pause before taking off all our clothes to go in to the sauna room but were happy to find that there’s something really liberating about not sucking it in, in fact letting it all hang out feels rather fantastic. Try it out to see what we mean: http://imperialdayspa.com/

What the hell it’s 2012: Leaving the sidelines behind

New Years resolutions are usually just fuel for feeling guilty later on in the year but we decided to try on some goals that didn’t require eating and drinking less. 

A year of trying the scary, silly and absurd:

January: Modern dance class

 mod·ern/ˈmädərn/

 Adjective:

Of or relating to the present or recent times as opposed to the remote past.

To start the year fresh we wanted to do something that married all of our 2012 aspirations. There’s nothing more scary than dancing in front of strangers sober, there’s nothing more silly than flopping on hardwood floors pretending to be a starfish and there’s nothing more absurd than trying to do so in a room with people who probably did a jig out of the womb. 

 We had a blast. 

High Brow/ Low Rent

Dom Perignon taste? Pelligrino budget? 

Us too… 

One of our favorite places to dine is Chez Panisse. We usually find ourselves ensconced amongst more mature patrons that definitely don’t look at the prices when they order. We do though, and we’ve found that there are some ways to avoid a tremendous bill with out compromising a delicious night out. 

Three tips to eating Cheap at the Chez:

1. Make nice with the waiters

This may sound obvious, but we’ve had multiple comp’d experiences just by being engaging and friendly with the servers. A little time for chit chat never hurt anyone. 

1. Order strictly off of the appetizer menu at the upstairs cafe

We have found that the appetizers from the cafe are quite delicious, filling and superior to most of the main dishes. A pizzeta will run you about 12 bucks and is great for sharing.

1. Save getting the champs for after dinner at Cesar next door…

    The best way to avoid any bloatin to your bill is to skip on the libations until after dinner at a more reasonably priced venue. Fortunately there are a few wine bars near Chez Panisse that can accomodate, Cesar’s being our favorite. 

Is that a roll of quarters in your pocket?

You’re out to dinner with your friend. They insist on paying and you want to leave some kind of contribution but they just wont have it. A fun way to get them back is to do the pocket slip.

The pocket slip: The reverse of pick pocketing

Maiden Voyage

Welcome to the Extravagant Hobo! Sit down, have a glass of red, let us entertain you. We are a collective of unemployed, underemployed and overworked non-profit East Bay kids. We live well and would like to share how we do what we do so damn well.